At this rate professional golf's only hope is that Tiger Woods goes "Sybil" on us.
Then he can play himself. Or one of his 13 distinct personalities, including Tiger Flambe, an exuberant sou chef from Provence, and My Little Tiger, a shy 6-year-old girl who obsessively collects tiny multi-colored ponies with brushable hair.
But enough silliness. Hear what Tiger did today?
Only win the Accenture Match Play Championship by grinding poor Stewart Cink into dust. Beat Cink 8-and-7, Tiger did, by making 14 birdies in 29 holes. It was his fourth straight PGA Tour win since last September, and the third straight time he set a tournament record for margin of victory.
It's pretty much beyond ridiculous, what he's doing now.
"I think maybe we ought to slice him open to see what's inside," the mutilated Cink said. "Maybe nuts and bolts."
Nah, Stewart. Come on, man, this is the 21st century.
I say it's microchips and fiber optics.
-- Ben Smith
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