And now our weekly Blob feature, a go route around the You Know What -- which this week will be a perfect go route, in honor of the perfect Tom Brady, the perfect Bill Belichick and the perfectly undisturbed cork in the '72 Dolphins' yearly bottle of champagne:
* Yes, the Pats did it. Finished the regular season 16-0. Frustrated another Manning. Teased the '72 Dolphins, those decrepit geezers, by falling behind Eli's Giants 28-16 in the third quarter before roaring back to win.
How DO you get the foil back on a champagne bottle, anyway?
* Resurgent Washington won its fourth straight, rolling up Dallas like a smalltown sidewalk 27-6. Tony Romo played sparingly and was lackluster when he did, completing just 7 of 16 with one pick.
ESPN talking heads immediately blamed Jassica Alba, Christina Aguilera and "a really cool cloud formation" for distracting the Cowboy quarterback.
* The Lions, who went bad faster than un-refrigerated mayonnaise, wrapped up their season with a valiant 34-13 loss to Green Bay in which the Kitties humiliated Brett Favre. The legendary quarterback, who had one of his best seasons this year at the age of 82, completed just 9-of-11 passes for 99 yards.
After much discussion, the Lions coaching staff opted not to tell the players that Favre played only three possessions.
* Brady Quinn finally made his pro debut for the Browns, completing a 6-inch tuna-and-provolone on whole wheat to a plumber in Section 123, a 12-inch Sweet Onion Chicken Teriyaki with all the vegetables to an elderly tax attorney in Section 113 and a 6-inch Veggie Delite to the drunk wearing the Chow mask down in the Dawg Pound.
In a development unrelated to his Subway gig, Quinn also completed 3-of-8 passes for 45 yards.
* This week's Rex Grossman Update: 1 of 1 and a 9-yard touchdown to Bernard Berrian.
No, wait. That was Kyle Orton.
No, wait. It was Adrian Peterson.
No, wait. It wasn't THAT Adrian Peterson, it was the other Adrian Peterson.
I think.
* This week's Won't You Come Home, Marty Schottenheimer Update: Add another chapter to the growing legend that is the Norv Turner Error. Philip Rivers threw for two scores, LaDainian Tomlinson wrapped up the rushing title and the defense forced four turnovers as the Chargers won their sixth straight by lumping up Oakland 30-17. At 11-5, they've clinched the third playoff seed in the AFC.
Norv's reaction: "It's been a great season. I'll see you all at mini-camp."
Back to you, Cris Collinsworth.
-- Ben Smith
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