And another thing...

The naked truth

And now for the Ewwwww Moment of the Day ...

It's John Daly golfing shirtless, boys and girls!

Children under 12 and the easily nauseated are excused.

-- Ben Smith

A rolling Moss

NASCAR Post Ahead ...

This is one of those stories that isn't nearly as bizarre as it sounds.

It seems New England wide receiver Randy Moss is thinking of starting a NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series team.

Randy Moss and NASCAR?

Well ... yeah. Turns out he's a racing fan from way back; he already sponsors a dirt-track team in his native West Virginia. And as he astutely points out, he wouldn't be the first NFL player to get involved in NASCAR. Troy Aikman and Roger Staubach, remember, own a team.

Randy Moss and NASCAR?

Like I said, not so bizarre.

Although it'll be interesting to see how he reacts the first time one of his drivers pulls a Randy Moss and declares he only tries when he feels like it.

-- Ben Smith

Hoop dreams

I see where presidential candidate Barack Obama hooped it up with North Carolina's basketball team yesterday.

Considering the way this political campaign has degenerated into hopelessly inane trivialities, I fully expect this to be used against him somehow. Pastorgate, Bittergate and Bowlinggate, meet Make-It Take-It Gate.

-- Ben Smith

Forgive what?

The question of the day on Pardon The Interruption last night was, "Is it time for Cubs fans to forgive Lee Elia for his now-infamous rant against them 25 years ago today?"

Answer: Of course. Because, frankly, Elia has nothing he needs to be forgiven for.

His four-minute, profanity-laced tongue lashing was directed at a Cub "fan" base that had every bit of it coming that day, considering they'd thrown bottles and garbage at their own players. No fans worth the name would EVER do such a thing, and it made a grotesque lie out of the prevailing notion that Cubs fans are the best fans in the world.

That day, the prevailing notion was a joke. And Elia rightly said as much.

-- Ben Smith   

Perpetual motion

And as additional proof that change is the essential condition of nature ...

Pat Riley has stepped down as coach of the Miami Heat. Again.

Larry Brown has been named head coach of the Charlotte Bobcats.

Three years from now, bank on it, Riley will have taken over as head coach again, stepped down again, taken over again, stepped down again. And Brown will have quit his ninth NBA gig and be in the running for his 10th.

-- Ben Smith

Road trip

Fort Wayne-Port Huron in the Turner Cup Finals inevitably calls to mind the last time it happened, 1973.

I was a senior in high school that year (yes, children, there was such a thing as "high school" in those days; we walked 10 miles through the snow to get there, uphill, both ways, and had to make our own fire).  I've written about it many times before, but the thing I remember most is that last road trip to Port Huron, when 12 busloads of Komets fans made the trip to pack tiny McMorran Arena and watch the Komets finish off the Wings in a four-game sweep.

I remember somebody threw a plastic garbage bag on the ice in the final seconds, and it lay there undisturbed, weirdly, in one faceoff circle. I remember running onto the ice when it was done, yelling like the 18-year-old idiot I was. I remember nearly getting run down by big Cal Purinton, and sharing a few illegal beers with a buddy on the bus ride home, and listening to some woman in the back mooning boozily about hunky forward Dean Sheremeta.

Somehow I think it will be, um, slightly different this time. Although reprising the 12-busloads-of-Komets-fans thing would be pretty cool.

-- Ben Smith 

Headline of the day

Click here to see what it is.

Just goes to show that maverick journalist Hunter S. Thompson was right when he uttered his famous line, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."

Or become international soccer stars, apparently.

-- Ben Smith

Torch update

And, in other news, the Olympic torch made its first visit to North Korea today, where it was greeted by "peaceful and attentive crowds."

This was largely because North Korea, a nation run by a homicidal maniac who rules with an iron fist, has been staunch in its support of China and its persecution of Tibetan dissidents. After all, the two countries have an understanding of sorts.

One repressive hellhole to another, you might say.

-- Ben Smith

Seamier and seamier

The increasingly tawdry you-know-what-ing match between Roger Clemens and his former trainer, Brian McNamee, just got even slimier, if that's possible.

Now McNamee's attorneys are alleging Clemens had a decade-long affair with country music star Mindy McCready.

Frankly I don't know what this has to do with the central issue, steroids, other than to prove McNamee's people are every bit the equal of Clemens and his people in the Who Wants To Be A Jackass category. But it seems to me accusing Clemens of sexual escapades works against McNamee.

After all, one of the side effects of steroid use is decreased sexual desire. And, uh, you know, function.

-- Ben Smith

Talladega slights

NASCAR Post Ahead ...

File this one under "Pet Peeves I Have Known."

Mine, in this case, has to do with restrictor plate races. I hate 'em. But it never occurred to me exactly why until I was watching the end of the race at Talladega yesterday.

Once again, a potentially slam-bang finish was marred by another accident in the final three laps, and we were treated instead to the spectacle of Kyle Busch creeping safely beneath the checkers under the yellow. It pretty much looked like the finish of every restrictor plate race, or almost every one, I've ever seen.

I could retire in luxury if I had a buck for every crash I've seen in the last 10 laps of one of these deals, and it's all because everyone's buzzing around at 200 mph in one massive clump, every single car of which is trying to get to the front. The result is such entirely predictable chaos you could set your watch by it.

I was hoping against hope it wouldn't happen again yesterday, but of course it did. In fact it happened several times in the last 20 laps, just as it did at Daytona.

NASCAR needs to do something. I don't know what, but something.

-- Ben Smith